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“Do You Love Me More Than You Love Cars?”

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So the other night I told my husband, “I love you”, and he said, “I love you too”.  I then asked him, “Do you love me more than you love cars?” He laughed because he and I both know he has an INSANE passion for sports cars!  He then joked and said, “It depends on whether it’s a multi-million dollar dream car or not!”  I looked at him crazy and he said, “Yes, I love you more than I love cars.”  He then added, “You are an APPRECIATING asset and cars are DEPRECIATING assets.”

 Ha! Hilarious!  I’ve never been described as an “appreciating asset” before but I consider it a compliment.  Appreciating assets are defined as things or qualities that increase in value as opposed to depreciating assets that lose or decline in value.   It was comforting to hear that my husband feels I am a valuable asset in his life and I feel the same way about him too.  Our conversation really got me thinking about relationships in general; how at the end of the day, we’re either adding value in our relationships or we’re not. 

Some questions to consider in your own relationship:

  1. “How am I adding value to the person I love and in what ways do I “upgrade” their life?”
  1.  “What do I contribute to the relationship that no one else can?” 
  2. “Is our foundation built on changing dynamics like physical attraction, or do we have a deeper spiritual connection?”
  3. “Do I bring qualities to the relationship like trust, honesty, integrity, and commitment, (to name a few), that spurs our mutual growth?”
  4. “What areas can I improve upon to become an even greater contributing asset?”

Ideally, BOTH people in the relationship are asking these questions; a kind of on-going self-assessment.  This contributes to an equitable and valued partnership. 

 I take comfort in knowing I add value to my husband and he considers me an “appreciating asset”.   But even in that knowledge, I understand there’s always room for improvement and areas where we both can grow.

So in what ways do you add value to your relationship? 

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Ginger Finney is a Certified Relationship Coach and President of Harmony Life Solutions. Harmony Life Solutions (HLS) provides professional coaching services and resources for women and families. Ginger brings more than twenty years of marriage and family experience to her practice, and embraces the opportunity to see her clients thrive in their relationships. © 2015, Ginger Finney. All rights reserved.


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